I've spent the last few weeks sitting on this blog and trying to figure out what kind of blog will it be? Will it be simply about my rants as a single gal? Singledom is a part of my life but the life of a single gal has so many more components - friends, work, meeting new people, drama, clubs, dancing your face off and sometimes waking up in the morning and wondering "what the hell happened last night?". So, I guess this will be more about my life and what goes on.
Let's start from the beginning - I was born in the winter of 1975 which makes me 35 years old. I almost cringe when I see that number because I remember being 8 and thinking 27 was WAY over the hill. I take small pleasure in knowing that many of my friends who were in my grade are already 36. YAY for being a late in the year baby! I was raised in the suburbs and really had a pretty decent childhood. There were, of course, fights with my parents and sibling, there were the days when girls hated me at school, when boys I liked didn't like me back, but all in all, it was pretty normal. We rode our bikes, threw dirt and dreamed about what it would be when we grew up. What would be? Who would we marry? Would we be rich?
I met my best friend when I was 3. We went to the same pre-school and were best friends all the way until a few years ago. Now, we don't even speak. I miss her sometimes, but the her I miss was the girl I knew and not this narcissistic, mean girl she has become. She could have had it all, really. She grew up a little bit plain, a little bit chubby and a whole lot loved. She had amazing friends, had such great moral standings and was genuinely a great person. When we got older, she got thinner, blonder and mean. She became the centre of attention instead of the buddy and with that, lost everything she was. I, playing the BFF, was patiently waiting this out because I figured she was going through her party stage later in life. Unfortunately, she is still there. Meaner than ever. Backstabbing friends, gossiping and drinking her face off nightly. I believe in karma but in her case, even thought we're not friends anymore, I wish karma didn't bite her back. She is unfortunately cursed with an abusive criminal boyfriend, fairweather girlfriends and 80 pounds that she once shed came back and came back hard. She threw away our friendship for surface friendships and although I wish her well in life, I can't be there anymore. I can't take her meanness.
My second best friend when I was growing up was the most perfect girl you'd ever know. Smart, beautiful, classy. It seemed like everything she ever wanted was presented to her on a silver platter. Her career, which was the career I always dreamed of, flourished and I was jealous. I was so enamored with her, I tried everything I could to be like her. But I wasn't. I wasn't pretty like her, I wasn't smart like her and I did everything I could to get boys to like me - but they didn't. They always liked her. Over the years, I have learned to be happy with being me and through this, I saw that she wasn't so perfect. She just hid things well and smiled constantly. I learned that no one really has the perfect life. Alas, friend number one and friend number two were caught talking trash behind my back on more than one occasion and I decided to free myself of them both. I still wonder if I was being childish and this was normal talk between friends but my feeling were hurt pretty bad. Still are. I miss them though.....
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